The Optimists
by words end here
Summary: Oneshot, in which Chuck and Serena contemplate their love lives together. Mentions of NJ, BC, CV, NS and DS. C/S friendship fic. Post season two. *PROLOGUE TO COLD FEET*


**A/N: **I wish we had more Chuck and Serena friendship on the show, especially whilst they were step-siblings. Anyhow, here is a scene I would have liked to watch between them.

--

The optimists

He starts drinking after he sees her.

Well, not quite. He starts drinking at fourteen because well, this is the Upper East Side. And when you're the son of one its elite families, you're parents are blinded by the glamor, the city lights and all the other superficiality so much that they believe in the quasi European idea that the more access kids have to alcohol, the less likely they are to abuse it in later years.

That idea had backfired for Chuck Bass.

He remembers him and Nathaniel firing back shots at the tender age of fourteen, Blair fawning over Nate and Serena commanding his and every other boy's attention as per usual. The four of them would always flop back into Chuck's bed at the end of the festivities during endless summer nights. Things were perfect back then, because back then, Serena was still Serena, Nate didn't have a look of mistrust in his eyes when they both spoke and Blair had no idea how anyone else felt because she and Nate were basically engaged. Everything was safe and he didn't have to remember the things you didn't want to remember, because everything was a drunken haze.

He gets over the initial appeal of alcohol during senior year and it seems his other friends do, too. Although they continue to drink at social occasions, but that's just the way it is. When his bed is empty (and the limo, too) he pours himself a glass because it makes things easier. And God knows, right now, things need to become easier. It's not anything worthy of any gossip or concern and certainly not scandalous as his affairs, yet it's not something he'd want Gossip Girl to hear of either.

So he doesn't start drinking after he sees Blair Waldorf, he just starts drinking more. He trusts the alcohol more than the sleeping pills, so drinking seems like the best solution.

One drink becomes four, but he tells himself that Nate will call at any moment, asking him to go out. But he doesn't call, because he's too busy making out with the residents of Brooklyn.

Serena stumbles into the van der Bass residence, throwing her clutch into her bedroom, not caring less for where it ended up even though it probably cost a thousand dollars or whatever. She tells Eric to go away and that's when you know that something has happened, because she loves the ground the boy walks on.

Chuck edges over to her door and knocks. She doesn't reply so he just enters. He feigns sobriety and declare triumphantly, "You're drunk."

She doesn't even deny it. He hasn't seen her like this since she had the whole love triangle-thing with Blair and Nate. But then again, maybe he has no right to judge because _he _hasn't felt like this since _his _whole love triangle-thing with Blair and Nate.

"Yeah." She says heavily.

"You're my sister." Chuck points out. It's an obvious thing to say, even though technically they're step siblings.

She doesn't tell him to go away.

"Nate doesn't love me. He loves Jenny." She states, avoiding crying or sadness or any other emotion. Chuck's sure that Nate lied. Jenny and Vanessa seemed okay and all, but this was Serena. The girl Nate had always loved. The most important girl in his universe, the girl he always wanted.

"That's crap." Chuck sneers.

"You know what crap is? The fact it took me so long to tell him." She replies, flinging her heels off and running a hand through her hair. Chuck sits down to her on the bed.

"You're not the only one who's taking their time." He admits. Its not like he has anyone else to confide in, given Nate's new found love of Brooklyn and Blair is…absent.

"You barely speak to her anymore." She observes. "Why?"

Chuck remains silent. He shouldn't have brought this up. This was a bad idea, a bad, bad idea. He should have just had the fifth drink instead.

"Chuck?" She prompts. "I just told Nate Archibald I'm in love with him. Hold a radio over my head, give up everything and everyone up for him, let him have the last glass of champagne love. And he said _"Oh. But I'm with Jenny." _So whatever you have, it's not as bad as mine. Take comfort in that fact, will you?"

Chuck rolls his eyes. "I…Blair…" He can't find the words.

Seems like he's making a habit of that.

"She misses you." Serena murmurs, putting a hand on his shoulder. She's not naive going into this, Blair wasn't just another one of his flings. She wasn't just sex. She wasn't just a child hood crush. No one knew what it was, but it was much more than anyone had anticipated.

But she also knows that Blair Waldorf has pride, too much of it to succumb to him ever again.

"I've been absent. I can't say it. Is that so bad? I mean, it's not me, I can't…"

Serena can't find the words either, so instead her hand just sticks there. It's actually becoming embarrassing because she can't move it. She knows Nate could find the words, Blair could and hell, even Dan would summon some good spirit and comfort scarf boy but there's nothing.

"I don't know what the hell I'm doing," he begins in dismay, "I slept with Vanessa Abrams."

Serena scrunches her nose up in a Blair-like manner. Actually, Blair would probably slap him but she's not here. She hasn't been for a while. And she's not coming back. Not in the foreseeable future anyway, however long or short the foreseeable future may be.

"You've made better choices." She remarks with disdain. Vanessa? Vanessa Abrams? Dans Vanessa? The girl was sarcastic and artsy and okay if you were into the whole…Vanessa Abrams thing but compared to Blair Waldorf, she was just another girl. She just wasn't in the same league. "What did…he think of that?"

Chuck looked at her with sympathy, which meant the situation was really bad. She couldn't even say his name anymore.

"You're the only person I've told." He says hastily, standing up again from the bed. Her clock flashes three zero two am.

Everything was falling apart, right before them. Dan left Serena for the fourth and final time, Chuck had told Blair _"…perhaps sometime in the future."_ And he never regretted saying something as much. The future? How long was that? A day? A week? A month or a year? Apparently, Nate didn't love Serena anymore and Jenny Humphrey had Nate wrapped around her little finger. And Chuck had slept with Vanessa. They didn't know who or what they were to each other anymore.

"You know what the sad part is?" She drawls, finally removing her hand and lying down on the bed, "we don't even do anything about it." She emits a hollow laugh. Chucks eyes met hers and for the first time, they silently acknowledge that they are way in over their heads. Serena was with Aaron and Dan, now Nate. And for Chuck, it's always been one girl he's ever came close to feeling something real for.

"Give me your hand, Serena." He asks.

"Its not gonna happen Chuck." She dismisses him. He rolls his eyes.

"Your hand?" He asks again. She takes his hand reluctantly.

"We're going to get them back. You can't help who you're in love with, S." He murmurs. Serena smiled. Something told her it was time for a plan.

"We're going to get them back." She confirms.

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**I hope you enjoyed! (:**


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